I'm so sorry

here i am skipping college studies
coming to a cyber cafe to to write this blog...
have to be here unwillingly, suffer from all kind of consequences
hearing a song you dedicate to me from the other computers,
it hurts alot...
to realize a mistake and admit it's hard
suffer consequences and all the burden behind makes it heavier to stand up again
as i'm typing, the song replays..
every word i hear, its a needle striking the heart.
sitting down here and recall all the bad things that happen before..
dunno what to do...

I never felt this bad before,
realizing my mistake and to overcome and to be a better person,
spirit to finish priority is not there..
a heart with an empty closed box
shut tight,
nothing, or anybody can do to open the box...
a cloudy and and dark aura growing inside me
thunders rumbling... there is nothing i can do to take it out....
this may be the punishment i get for what i did
all those regrets and unforgettable memories
grows inside me..

Called a few frens
only one answers
appreciate the help from him,
but nothing changes much.... regretting for my past
memories flies by...
tears shed and effort lost..
there is nothing i can do.....
but to sit down here feeling miserable...
what am i suppose to do...

nobody can answer that question...
nobody will...
its only up to me to find out how
I wish I could stand up once again to get back what i owned before
something that i regret losing
Its the most important thing to me...
My skill rust,
My inspiration dies..
killing me softly by the tip of the blade
slicing me pieces to pieces
to bare with the pain and continue to live on and feel sorry for what i did...

Something i treasure most,
trust... its.. gone...

Things come and go,
what comes around goes around
looks like my time is here...
WTF am I doing or even thinking?
I'm juz a screw up
I would take this chance to apologize to someone has trusted me with all her heart
and i screwed up
I'm sorry for what I did to you
I'll do my part and continue to stand up and clear up those mistake I made and continue to live on
Everything I do is always for you
nothing more...

I'm so sorry my dearest Libby...